In Brendan’s Montessori school parent conferences happen in a multi-step unique way.  First a pre-conference questionnaire is sent home to parents.  This forces us to sit down and answer some questions that require thought: 3 words to describe Brendan, what are our goals for him this school year, what are our goals for him long term, what changes have we seen since the start of the school year (social-emotional, academic, etc).  It is tougher than you would think!  For the record “socially-gifted” is one word.

Next a school progress report comes home, about a day or two before our conference.  There is a list of skills and boxes for “Exhibits Strength”, “Age Appropriate” and “Needs Development.”  Everything for Bren was “Age Appropriate.”  With a few exceptions: Verbal Skills, Participates in Group Activities, Aware of Others, Is a Leader/Role Model, Participates in Singing/Music.  They were all “Exhibits Strength.”  This is where you get an idea of how the conference is going to go.  Let me break it down how I read it:

Verbal Skills- he likes to talk. A LOT. Shocked.

Participates in Group Activities- “I’ll get the kids in the group to do what I want.”

Aware of Others- who can I play and how can I get them to do what I want?

Is a Leader/Role Model- in a word- dictator

Participates in Singing/Music- My drama queen?

Then I read the summary page. “Brendan is creative in his approach to learning and life.”  In three paragraphs his teachers commented on his leadership skills, his willingness to help other children even without being asked, his organization skills (color coded a work for the class) and his way  of making things more efficient (the snack table).  And in his spare time he is doing language and math work too.  “Very social and enjoys conversations” came up too.

It is not surprising in a Montessori classroom where he has been for three years that the teachers would know him so well.  This is the gift of time in the same space with the same record keepers learning and observing each child.  But when you see it on paper, it is striking.

And there is the stepping back moment and realization that maybe he is more like me than I realized.  Systems? Organization? Leadership? Color-coding?

The day of the conference parents are invited into the classroom to observe the classroom for 30 minutes.  You get to see the full picture of what is going on and see you child at work. (and as with this age, sometimes they “perform” other times not so much)  Then you meet with the teacher and talk about the observation, report and any questions.

When we got to the classroom Brendan was reading his little books of words!  Something he rarely will do for us at home.  It lasted about 10 minutes.  Then he chose another work- polishing and eating an apple.  Seriously.  Then on to pruning a plant.  My God this kid can play us.

The conference with his teacher was full of laughter.  Her Brendan stories were as funny as ours.  For example, he has a favorite 3 year old he helps.  She loves puzzles (he is not such a fan).  She has one in particular she takes out a lot but can’t quite finish.  He manages to swoop in just as she gets frustrated to help her and will just say, “this one again?”  He starts a sing along or “reads’ when the littlest kids are getting ready to go home.  Nice to hear he gets to be the “big brother” someplace in his life.  And we can see the change in him and his level of being responsible and confident.

We left there shaking our heads at this extraordinary little leader who is becoming a big kid full of empathy.

When did that happen?